Shinji’s Odd Jobs
by Raiden X
Summary: Update: Session 1 - Now, there's a new 'Grimm Reaper'(in-training) on town, and he ain't Gendo...
1. Prologue: I hate this job!

This is a fanfic, 'nuf said

This is a fanfic, 'nuf said.

Give your comments at [**raiden_x_@hotmail.com**][1]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Shinji's Odd Jobs

Another frigging Eva fanfic by Raiden_X_

_____________________________________________________________________________

Prologue:I hate this job!

[Shin-chan's lovely suite]

*Groan! *

It was midnight and Shinji was busy sulking in his room. 

It has been one of those days, when you don't want to wake up; everything fucks and everybody sucks. He really doesn't know why, but he wanted to justify; i.e. ripping someone's head off. All he could do right now is break human contact in the privacy of his own room.

In his ears, the scolding and the taunts are still fresh.

"Shinji, you're sync rate is very low! You should try harder!"

"Don't you dare take a peek at me, you Baka-hentai!" 

"Shinji, you're grades are dropping! I need to see some improvement, you hear!"

"Baka-hentai! Make dinner NOW! It's Misato's turn and I don't want to die yet!"

"Pilot Ikari, you disappoint me…"

That last comment from his father sent his morale at it's all time low.

In times like this, his SDAT can't even soothe his throbbing anguish. His homework wasn't helping any.

Sirens blared suddenly.

"Aaargh! Great! Just great…" He spat out sarcastically. Standing up from his desk, his SDAT fell from his hands accidentally and landed on the floor with a big *Thud!*.

Meters of tape began spilling out and making knots.

Before the master of this dimension left, he slammed his head five more times on a wall in grief. there was a very worn-out grove on that spot. 

Where am I going to get money to fix that thing?

--------------------------------------

[Nerv headquarters]

"The enemy is heading towards Nerv HQ from the northeast region. You are to intercept this target when it arrives at the beach." Misato stated.

"This angel seemed to have the same properties as the 3rd and the 7th angel. A pre-emptive attack from the recon units has divulged that this creature could multiply like the 7th angel but it's replication limit is unknown. It had regenerated and merged itself at the ocean before proceeding here." Added Ritsuko.

"Hai!" Asuka was ecstatic.

"Hai." Rei was just being Rei.

".....Hai..." Shinji was feeling dead at the moment.

"Is there something wrong, pilot?" 

"No sir..."

"Oh yeah, I forgot! Since you and pilot Sohryu didn't have a synchronization training recently, both of you must be more alert this time around. I couldn't trust you with a pallet rifle for this mission because you have been receiving the lowest synch ratios this month. you are to combat the target with the progressive knife, understood?" Misato was very disappointed at the young Ikari due to his recent performances lately.

"Hai..."

"Serves you right, Baka!" Asuka taunted.

"........"

~~~~~~~~29 minutes later...

[Battlefield]

All three Evangelions laid sprawled at different areas of the battlefield. Unit 02 was thrown over at the sea, butt first. Unit 00 was sent crashing at a beach resort 49 miles away. Unit-01 was being used as a wrecking ball at the tall hotel buildings. Each Eva was being double teamed by a pairs of angels. 20 minutes ago they were on a roll into beating the crap out of this celestial conqueror, until it started making copies of itself. 

Only Shinji was making any real progress right now, and he's getting beat up.

Asuka and Rei could still stand and fight, but they couldn't keep their enemies stay still for a few seconds. The pitch black darkness of the night didn't give them a chance at all.

The Third Child's offenders are keeping still, It's Shinji whose being thrown around. All he could afford right now is an occasional punch and jabs here and there because his knife was destroyed earlier.

--------------------------------------

[Entry plug, Unit-01]

Shinji managed to run away from his torturers. He's now hiding under a pile of 'Holiday Inn' hotel rubble. the black pair of entities were walking around like monkeys, trying to find their toy.

"..............."

The com-link to the mobile headquarters was malfunctioning within the first few hits.

The internal battery supply alerted that he had only 5 minutes left.

His brain formulated two choices:

1)Wait here and let the life supports fade so that he could avoid being angel food, but 3rd impact would occur.

2)Stand up and die anyway. The others must be doing fine without me, I'm just a nuisance to them..

Either way, he dies.

*Sigh* he opened his bleary eyes once more.

"_**HMMM...**_" There was a murmur heard inside the cockpit.

He felt the familiar feeling of dread as Death checks in if he could claim his soul.

Just like that. Over there. The guy with this bad ass scythe floating menacingly before him.

"WHAT THE HELL!!!" The young Ikari screamed as he realized that the shrouded spirit was indeed his fears being solidified.

_**"..........."**_

"A...a...are you really Death?!"

_**"IT'S THE SCYTHE, ISN'T IT? THEY ALWAYS NOTICE THE SCYTHE. THE CURSED THING ALWAYS GIVES IT AWAY..."**_ The dark figure did what appears to be what people call 'sulk'.

"Um... er... So, is it my time to go now?" Shinji has been looking forward to the afterlife ever since he joined Nerv. A chance to be with his mother again was worth all the pain he endured.

_**"MAYBE."**_

"E-excuse me?"

**_"I DON'T KNOW."_** Death attempted a shrug. Human stuff are very hard to simulate.

"Then, what are you doing here? You went all the way here to scare the shit out of me just for fun?!!!" The Third Child was getting all worked up right now.

**_"I JUST DROPPED BY TO SEE IF I COULD TAKE YOU NOW. "_**

"Wait a minute, are you saying that you don't know when I'll die?"

_**"**_**_YES AND NO."_**

"What do you mean?"

_**"EVERY MORTAL HAS A PREDESTINED APPOINTMENT, BUT WITH THIS CELESTIAL WAR OCCURRING IN YOUR DIMENSION, YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE'S APPOINTMENTS MIGHT BE PROCESSED EARLIER THAN ANTICIPATED." **_The shrouded figure held out a bony hand with an hourglass with Shinji's name written on a small plaque.. The sands were having fluctuations in gravity; It was either falling downwards or falling upwards.

"..............."

_**"HMMM... LOOKS LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TO DIE; THE OTHER PILOTS ARE IN DEEP PERIL..."**_ The scythe wielder checked someone else's hourglass and faded out.

"Hey, wait! Take me instead!" Shinji cried out.

Being left alone again, he sobbed and cried out for his poor luck. 

What am I saying? We're all going to die anyway! I could still rid of my pathetic life yet! He laughed hysterically.

Something suddenly snapped in his brain. Time seemed to stop.

But... Asuka, Rei and the others... His expression grew dark again

I-I... I can't let that happen! Pain and grief engulfed him as he clutched his head in agony.

Apparently, an Angel tripped over Unit-01's head.

--------------------------------------

[Battlefield]

A pair of black titans stood petrified, staring at the beast that they have awakened with morbid fascination.

Not even the angels could see through the darkness of the night, but they were guided by the aura that each Evangelions emit. Right now, all of their senses focused on a pair of unholy green light that glowed viciously in the dark.

That roar. That blood-curdling howl that would make a tyrannosaurus blush. It echoed to the eclipse on the moon.

The entities that stood far away from the awful cry got alarmed. For even though they are cold blooded beast themselves, they knew fear. And nothing is more scary and horrible as a tormented soul seeking retribution and retaliation.

--------------------------------------

[Entry plug, Unit-00]

Unit-00 was sprawled, bleeding LCL on the sand.

"Pilot Ikari?!" Rei managed to say. The familiar howl haunted her ears once more.

More shrieks from different owners were heard. It sounded like a mutant goat's death cry as it was being torn limb from limb, and the truth isn't really that far off.

From her end of the battlefield, the two identical angels left her for dead. A bigger threat to their victory has emerged, and it's presence needs to be eradicated immediately at any cost.

Unconsciousness overwhelmed the First Child as the entry plug got automatically ejected.

--------------------------------------

[Entry plug, Unit-02]

Asuka may be all beat up, but defeat is something she disliked to accept. She knew that Rei was already retrieved by Nerv and and she's going to be next. She had to focus her brain to repel the ejection command. All the Second Child wants to do now is to die trying to destroy these cruel Angels, but that simple wish was being left not granted for her assailants have turned their backs to her and proceeded to another prey.

They were ignoring her.

All her troubles brought her nothing, not even an honorable demise.

"Come back here you Idiots!!!" Asuka willed her Eva into stabbing one of them with her broken progressive knife, and failed. But it's purpose to drive back the attention to her succeeded.

Unit-02 was back again on the wet sand in a split second. The angel stood on top of her Eva and was preparing to stab her with it's own spike lance. 

"Kom, susser Todd." She says, staring at the pointy end defiantly.

The angel grinned maliciously.

Suddenly, Asuka's death was postponed. Instead, she stared shocked at the horrible scene before her. Her ex-killer died at the hands of a bleeding Unit-01.

The poor being got torn inside-out and let out a blood-curdling screech.

She fainted at the sight of that evil purple grin in front of her.

--------------------------------------

[Entry plug, Unit-01]

The Third Child was trying to calm his breathing down. All that running and ripping flesh with his bare hands were taking it's toll on the poor lad.

I... I did it... I killed them all...

The boy lifted his hands and examined them. All he could see is the blood and gore his Evangelion has made.

"A murderer... that's all I am..."

~~~~~~~~The next day...

[Nerv HQ, Commander's office]

"I resign." the boy declared.

"Again, pilot?" Gendo seemed to be irritated.

"Yes..."

"Any particular reason?"

"I can't go on... I don't like to kill anymore."

The commander took off his glasses and and wiped them with the cloth from his pocket.

"Will this be permanent this time? I can't have you waste anymore valuable resources from sending a private train back to your foster home every time you decide to take a 'break' from your occupation.

"... I....I'm staying here in Tokyo-3."

"Hmmm?"

"I only wanted to quit this job. I wouldn't leave my friends yet."

"You do know that your stay in this city and all your expenses are paid by Nerv, am I correct?"

"Er... yeah."

"If you're leaving Nerv, then you will have to provide for yourself alone."

"..........."

Wearing his lens again, the commander initiated his patented 'steepled-hands on face maneuver(TM)'. 

"I presume that this resignation request isn't permanent, is it pilot?"

"..........."

"Very well, since you couldn't make up your mind once again, I'm willing to make a deal. You will have two week's time to decide. After two weeks, you may either stay as a pilot of Nerv, or work in another occupation in the city. If you chose to leave Nerv, then the monthly pay for your accommodations in Major Katsuragi's residence will be terminated. You may also decide to stay there if you wish but you will have to provide the money to pay for the bills yourself. Do you understand?"

"......Yes sir." The younger Ikari was overwhelmed by the implied responsibility of living for himself.

"Do you wish to reconsider, like you always do?" His father taunted.

"No sir." The boy willed all his courage to accept his terms defiantly. He won't back down this time around.

"Very well. You are dismissed, pilot." 

His son stood up left the dimly lit office.

Gendo was surprised at his offspring's unexpected behavior. Different feelings towards the boy emerged. Disappointment, curiosity and admiration were now focused at Shinji.

Pulling out a cell phone from his drawer, he sighed.

The old men would not like to hear this. I got to handle this carefully.

*Ring!*

*Ring!-*

{Sir?}

"The Third Child would be job hunting soon. See to it that he doesn't get hired."

~~~~~~~~A week passes by...

[Shin-chan's lovely suite]

The young Ikari drew another red line at the classified ads.

He was rejected by every occupation he signed for, even as a garbage man. Asuka keeps laughing at his poor luck. She teases him that he couldn't get a proper job without going to college like she had done. But the major rained on her parade once she mentioned that the she is still a minor also and couldn't receive legitimate occupation unless she would go for prostituting and such shady buisiness..

What the boy noticed during his quest is that the employers seemed nervous around him.

I didn't even tell them that I'm a pilot... 

He has to find a job that could at least pay the rent at Misato's. The major disapproved of him leaving Nerv and all, but offered to let him stay in the apartment if he still wanted to resign. Shinji wouldn't hear any of it. The young Ikari wanted to at least find a job so he could stay and share paying the bills. He knew that his guardian's income wouldn't suffice if he freeloaded on her expense; most of her money goes on beer.

Maybe I could live here as a maid... He thought as he inspected his broken SDAT one more time.

Nah... Asuka would make it more of a living hell than it already is with Misato... 

I fold... I have to apologize to father for this travesty. he crumpled his newspaper and stuffed it in the trash bin.

--------------------------------------

[Misato's apartment, Living room]

The Second Child and the household penguin are watching TV. It was another boring day. The major was in the kitchen, finishing her reports and papers due signing.

*Knock, knock!*

Asuka's eyebrows furrowed.

*Knock, knock!*

Why would anybody knock when they could just ring the damn door bell-

*Knock, knock!*

"Shinji! Get the door!" She hollered.

-and what kind of a freak would be knocking with a chicken bones?

"For once Asuka, would you stop slaving around Shinji and answer the door already?" Misato said irritated from the kitchen.

"Oh, Shut up!" Asuka snapped back. Implied laziness in her part was not taken lightly by Asuka. She doesn't want to be compared with her guardian's lifestyle, but she couldn't call Misato lazy either if she wanted to live longer.

The red haired girl stud up gruffly and answered the door.

"What do want?" she yelled out at the visitor.

**_"I'M HERE FOR SHINJI IKARI."_** The tall shrouded figure spoke in gothic booming voice.

Asuka wasn't impressed.

"You dummkopfs! It isn't October, and there isn't any Halloween here in Japan!"

_**"...................?"**_

"Shinji! Your other stooges are here!"

"Touji and Kensuke? Send them in, please." The young Ikari called out from his room.

Asuka would have bashed Shinji's head in for ordering her like that, yet he did say please... 

"Hey! careful with that thing, you almost sliced my head off!" The German pilot hit the back of Death's head. The huge scythe was laid down carefully to avoid further beatings from the feisty red-head.

Asuka seemed to have noticed that either Touji or Kensuke used a helmet for a head on their costume or the person being carried on top has a very hollow head.

"That's a cute costume you got there guys!" Misato said as she took a peek at what's going on. She noticed also that the scythe looks very real... but then again, maybe she had to much beer today.

If one would look microscopically, tiny air molecules and atoms were being sliced clean whenever the get near on the blade's edge. 

After giving a big burp, she threw the can of Yebisu at the trash bin.

The Grimm Reaper floated swiftly towards Shinji's door.

*Knock, knock!*

"It's open." Said the boy from inside.

**_"HMMM... "_** doors were one of the things he still haven't fully understood yet. his bony arm seemed to get all jittery every time he hold a knob. Instead he just precipitated through the door like he always do.

--------------------------------------

[Shin-chan's lovely suite]

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" The young Ikari yelled out in absolute terror. his face became pale as if he saw a ghost or something of that category.

_**"GOOD AFTERNOON TO YOU, MORTAL."**_

"I-It-It's you!" Shinji stuttered.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Asuka was laughing like an idiot from outside.

"The Idiot actually got scared at that crappy costume!" she said out loud. Misato can't help but join in the laughter.

"Wu-wha-what brings you here, sir?"

_**"I'VE HEARD THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A NEW OCCUPATION... "**_

_____________________________________________________________________________

End of Prologue

Next Session 1: Death's new apprentice

Author's Jibah-Jaba: 

This a new story I cooked up after reading the Discworld novels by Terry Prattchet, 

(Mort, Soul Music, The Hogfather and Reaper man)

I know that I have been procrastinating too much with my other fics, but I got problems that I have to sort out first so please, bear with me.

Please send any comments or suggestions at [raiden_x_@hotmail.com][1]

See ya!

   [1]: mailto:raiden_x_@hotmail.com



	2. Session 1 - Death's new apprentice

This is a fanfic, 'nuf said.

Give your comments at raiden_x_@hotmail.com

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**Shinji's Odd Jobs **

Another frigging Eva fanfic by Raiden_X_

_________________________________________________________________________________ 

**Session 1 - Death's new apprentice**

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**[The park]**

It was late autumn. Most leaves have fallen, especially around the two currently insignificant figures.

Shinji and his companion had left the apartment to take a stroll down here at the park to get proper negotiations done without the prying ears of his other roommates. He feared that they would get hysterical if they ever learned the truth. He had worn his jacket, there were unusually bitter cold winds this afternoon. But then again, a 7-feet tall shrouded skeleton is not far from the occult in Tokyo-3 either. Walking beside the terrified Ikari was the 'Ultimate Reality'; Death. 

** --BUT IT'S REALLY NOT A BAD JOB, YOU MEET A LOT OF......UM...ER, INTERESTING _FORMER _ PEOPLE.**

"...I don't know, it's just that... it's the very same thing I'm trying to get away from in my current job." Whined the shivering boy.

Most people believed that patience is one of the most important virtues of life. Ironically, such people obviously haven't met good ol' Azreal. The non-living doesn't have time, they have infinity (it's color is dark blue and it's really quite boring). They have all the non-existing time to be patient with. The kid will come around, all he need is a little manipulation here and there...

** YOU'RE A GOOD MORTAL, YOU HAVE NO IMMORAL VICES OF SUCH. YOU KEEP TO YOURSELF MOST OF THE TIME BUT YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING TO HELP THOSE AROUND YOU. AND A FEW WEEKS AGO, YOU HAVE REQUESTED TO REACH THE FINAL PEAK OF YOUR MORTALITY. THINK ABOUT IT. WITH THIS WORK, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO GIVE THE SAME GIFT TO THOSE WHO YEARN TO END THEIR SUFFERING.** The entity waved a skeletal arm casually as he advertised the job's benefits.

"Are you saying that, if I take apprenticeship under your tutelage, there will no longer be pain?" A shimmer of hope was evident in Shinji's eyes.

**PAIN IS THE EMOTION OF WHAT ONE PERCEIVES WHEN ONE HAS TIME TO REALIZE IT. IF YOU TAKE UP LABOR IN MY PROFESSION, YOUR TIME WILL STAND STILL. IN SHORT, I OFFER TO YOU IMMORTALITY IN RETURN FOR YOUR SERVICES, DO YOU ACCEPT?** The bony hand stopped in front of the young Ikari, a gesture that requested a hand shake to seal an agreement. After much internal deliberation, Shinji accepted the touch of Death...

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**[Death's realm]**

"Well, that was a quick ride..." Shinji stated to nobody in particular as he nervously jumped off the giant white stallion. 

Shinji had just experienced his first intra-dimensional warp travel. He feared that he would fall off at it's blinding speed but it is impossible to fall off this steed, the only way that it could happen is if the horse wanted you to fall. Nevertheless, this form of travel had him frustrated. He thought that there would be some cool flashes of light and some vortex-ripping special effects. All that happened was the horse started to trot, cantered slowly then took a short burst sprint as the background blurred from typical Tokyo-3 to the grim realm of the 'end' personified. 

**...IT WAS? I DIDN'T NOTICE............**Death scratched his skull thoughtfully as he too leapt off his steed.

The realm was as gloomy as the young Ikari imagined it to be. The overcast sky was patched with large clumps of dark thunder clouds. There were a few leafless trees and the vast wheat fields were swaying in one particular direction without the help of any form of wind. There was a full moon hanging out at the infinitely dark-blue horizon. This is the place where time never started nor ended, and it's motif was ebony, ivory and gray. What Death liked most of all was black. It goes with anything, sooner or later...

-------------------------------------------

**[The horses' stables]**

The two accompanied the horse into the stables. The giant horse knew what to do, it's just that it was morally imbedded to anyone that they should see any horse off into it's quarters as if it was a rouge who would stray at any given opportunity. The three stopped at a stall with a brass nameplate that has a heavily-gothic text that spelled "BINKY". The horse entered it's quarters silently.

Shinji had never seen such a large horse before, it was definitely proportional to it's 7-feet tall master. Like the rest of the skeletal horses within the stables, these creatures exists in all planes of reality and obeyed the laws of their very own dimension. They may seem that they were floating on mid-air, but they were actually stepping on what they want to believe was perfectly solid ground.

"Uh, Sir? Why do you ride Binky instead of one of your scary horses over there?"

**I DO SOMETIMES, BUT IT'S HARD TO RIDE THOSE BUGGERS WHEN I DON'T HAVE A CUSHION OF SOME SORT. AND BESIDES, THEY KEEP BURNING THINGS IN UNHOLY DARK FLAMES WHEN THEY RELIEVE THEMSELVES.** The two green glowing orbs within the hood glared at the blushing demonic steeds.

Death then began to groom Binky's side with the horse brush.

**SINCE THAT YOU'LL BE ACCOMPANYING ME ON MY DAILY ROUNDS, YOU'LL NEED TO LEARN HOW TO RIDE RIDE THESE KIND OF CREATURES. IF YOU LEARNT TO RIDE THAT ONE, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO RAPIDLY ADAPT TO ANY SPECIE.** The master pointed a bony finger casually at a skeletal 'fire-breathing' donkey.

"T-T-Th-That one?!!!" Shinji gulped as the ass brayed angrily at him.

**YES. HERE'S A LITTLE TIP FOR YOU, ALWAYS FEED HIM A CARROT AFTER A DAY'S WORK, HE ALMOST NIPPED MY PINKY WHEN I TRIED TO PAT HIM ON THE SKULL WITHOUT TOSSING HIM THAT PARTICULAR VEGETABLE.**

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**[Death's manor]**

The two entered the gothic mansion. The malevolent eeriness outside was far inferior inside. everything was out of proportion. The building's capacity seemed larger than life, or better yet, a void. This dimension gives the impression that it was made by someone who knows what a world and it's properties look like, and barely knows how should everything work. At least the skull-and-bones wall paper was appropriate with the cadaverous artifacts within (If you could see all that from within 12 miles away). Even the carpet stretched through infinity (And infinity is just a given quantity. Something that goes on forever is what one should worry about).

They were greeted by an old butler.

Albert may be old, but if he got insulted, chances are that he may knock you out 8 times before you thrust a punch at him. His rough manner and tall presence could make any gangster punk flee.

"G'd afternoon sir. Oh! And who may this lad be?"

**THE BOY'S NAME IS SHINJI IKARI, HE WILL BE STAYING HERE FOR A WHILE.**

"Sir?" A bad case of De'ja-vu gripped at the old butler.

**HE IS HERE FOR ****APPRENTICESHIP****.**

After glancing nervously back at Shinji, he pulled his master away so that they could negotiate privately.

"Excuse my rudeness, sir but ....You do remember about what happened the last time you took in an apprentice?" He whispered.

**OF COURSE, I HAVE A UNIQUE MEMORY, DON'T I?**

It's a unique memory alright. He could remember things like it just happened tomorrow. Humans have the memory capacity like a bucket of water. Data flows in, and when it is too full, older data have to spills out to make room for new ones. But Mr. Grimm's is like an abyss. Data never spills out. He could also hold the future's information. The only problem was, he only has vague images of them and he has to encounter them to complete the pieces of the memory puzzle.

"It'll be the same disaster all over again! Mortals can't do your job properly sir! They tend to be too lenient...

No one knows why, but Death started getting fond of humans as an exterminator started to get curious on how rats live. The 1st problem was Ysabel. Death saved her when she was just a baby and adopted her. He also let her grow up into a teenager, thinking that it was older children were easier to deal with. This proves that you could be an anthropomorphic personification and STILL get things dead wrong. The second half of the disaster was the first apprentice. No one will do but Azreal HAD to go and get an apprentice.__

**IF EVERY TRADE HAS AN APPRENTICE, PERHAPS I NEED ONE TOO...** Death thought to himself one day. 

The result was Mortimer, or Mort for short. Mort was a complete failure, he was too compassionate to reap souls while Death was on vacation. When he and Ysabel first met, there was an instant dislike. And we all know how these things turn out in the end, don't we? Soon, he and Death had a battle, in which he lost. For reasons of his own, Death spared Mortimer's life. He sent both his apprentice and his adopted daughter back to earth, where they got married and lived somewhat happily ever after.

**I HAVE ALREADY REALIZED THE CAUSES OF MY MISTAKES FROM BEFORE. THIS ONE WON'T FAIL US. HE WILL LEARN TO ABIDE FROM THE RULES OF THE _DUTY_. I WILL MAKE SURE OF IT.**

Both tall figures glanced back towards the silent boy. Shinji seemed to be having a having a blast, studying his shoes.

"I got a bad feeling about this one..." Albert commented.

**YES. THIS ONE IS DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHER HUMANS. IT IS UNUSUAL FOR A MERE MORTAL TO BE ABLE TO SEE ME WITHOUT ALLOWING MYSELF TO BE SEEN. ALSO, HIS FATE STRANDS ARE INDISTINGUISHABLE. I INTEND TO FIND OUT WHAT HIS HIDDEN POWERS ARE, AND PERHAPS, I WILL BE ABLE TO BRING IT OUT TO LEARN HIS TRUE FATE. CURIOUS... **The boss mused as he held a 14yr old book. The article's title is "IKARI, SHINJI" and it's font was written heavily in gothic. The current open page was blank, but soon, writing started to fill it slowly...

-------------------------------------------

**[Albert's kitchen]**

The room was as worse as everywhere else in the realm. An army of cooks could get lost in here.

Albert was busy preparing dinner, lunch or whatever time it's supposed to be. It's not that everyone here doesn't know the time, it's just that there was no 'real time' flowing in this place. The smell of home-made cigar is definitely obvious. especially on good old butler (he could make the thinnest cigarette cigarette due to being low on supplies).

When Albert first came here, he bought an expensive wall clock ant brought it with him. It never really worked since then, it's only advantage was that it gave him comfort. Humans are very concerned about their clocks, it's a very nasty habit of theirs that they keep looking at it from time to time even if it's not really working.

The butler was also keeping an eye on the boy. 

Shinji's first assignment was to clean the scythe. It was pretty hard, considering that it keeps slicing the washcloth cleanly in half. The odd thing was, he finished his work rather faster than Albert thought it would take.

Mort took days trying to clean that thing and took in a lot of cuts and bruises, and this kid managed to due it as properly as the master would! The old man thought to himself as he stared at the eerie glow of dark blue which was the blade of the scythe itself.

"So, what brings you to soul reaping?" The butler inquired, trying to fill in the void of silence.

"............I.....well...it's just that, I want to give finality to suffering." Now that was an answer Albert wasn't prepared to hear.

Shinji seemed to be as scrawny and spineless as Mort, but they appear to have different views.

"What will be for er... tonight's dinner, sir?" Shinji curiously glanced at the clock, then at the frying pan.

It was fried bacon.

"T'is bacon."

"Um, isn't that very unusual for dinner?"

"The clock doesn't work," Albert deadpanned. "...and besides, I already fried chicken and steak last week."

"Err..., Do you know how to make something else, like soup for example?"

"Eh? Can you fry that?" The old guy was obviously unaware of that word. 

Great, he only knows how to fry food. At least he's better than Misato...

"Uh, by the way, how did you wind up here?"

"We'll, let's just say that I wanted a better life. Poverty had lead me to this bitter age, devoid of happiness. I took this chance to get free meals for once in my life, and look at me now! I'm finally satisfied! The only problem I have now is that I can't get proper necessities brought here anymore. I'm afraid that my life timer has only seconds worth of time left. And I can't trust the master to buy some groceries! He thinks a 90yr old bread is still the same and as edible as any other bread!"

"Hey, I still have plenty of time left in me! Maybe I could do some errands for you! I have nothing else better to do on my free time anyway..."

-------------------------------------------

**[The dinning room]**

**--AND TOMORROW, WE WILL BE SETTING OFF FOR YOUR FIRST LESSONS.**

"Yes, sir." Shinji replied. He's quietly eating at the opposite side of very loooooooooong table.

Even the dining room is murky and as large as seven football fields. Albert has developed a way to prevent himself from getting lost in the house, and he pulls it off by staying on the same path as he always do. **THE PLACE IS SO FREAKING HUGE! AND HE KEEPS GOING ON THE SAME ROUTE EVERYDAY! THERE'S A LOT OF EXPENSIVE TILES BEING WASTED FOR NOT BEING TRODDEN ON! IT'S GETTING ON MY NERVES! **Death would think to himself whenever he has nothing else to think about at the moment. The only sources of light available in the manor are the candles (that keeps burning without melting) and the pair of glowing green orbs in Azreal's skull.

Where does all the food go to if you don't have any form of flesh left? Shinji thought curiously as he watched Death swallow another piece of bacon.

"I'm staying here during the whole duration of my training?"

**NOT NECESSARILY, YOU HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF RETURNING TO THE ORIGINAL TIME YOU LEFT FOR THIS REALM AND BACK HERE AFTER OUR DAILY ROUNDS. ONLY DURING YOUR LESSONS WILL I STOP YOUR AGING PROCESS. TAKE NOTE THAT, TIME DOESN'T MATTER TO ME. WE CAN TRAVEL THROUGH IT FREELY WITH MY GUIDANCE. **The ageless relic's booming voice reverberated around the the great acoustics of the dining hall.

"You could travel to the past?!" Shinji asked incredulously.

**YES. BUT ALTERING IT, NO.**

-------------------------------------------

**[The hallway]**

The young apprentice was being led to the guestroom. Yes, another cryptic room. He was promised a busy harvesting duty tomorrow. For now, he was to spend the night (or whatever 'suspended' time it is...) in his new boss's mansion. On his way to the room, he noticed a pink door. It was unusual to find a pink color in the middle of a dark dimension.

"What's that room, sir?"

"Eh? Oh! That was the belated mistress's bedroom."

"'Mistress'?"

"T'was the master's adopted daughter, y'see?"

"What happened to her?"

"She and her hubby got fatal in a car accident. T'was a shame, really. The master offered to give them immortality in this place, but they refused. Everybody has to die sooner or later, so they thought that it was not worth dilly-dallying when yer time is up." 'old stiff' Albert shook his head disdainfully.

"..................."

"Anyways, don't ye come in there unless ye wants to blind yerself in that horrible pink abyss. The mistress had always liked pink so much... that's why everything in der is pink. I don't know how she could stand being in that ridiculous room. Good thing the master wanted to leave the room as it is, so I don't have to risk losing my eyesight cleaning in there." 

"Um, how come it smells like candy in here?" The boy sniffed the air.

"Ah...yes, that's her room alright! The mistress was also obsessed with chocolate, y'see? I'm surprised she didn't die of that instead, she would have probably preferred it that way..."

-------------------------------------------

**[The guestroom]**

Ah, yes. I don't need to explain how this room looks like, don't I?

".........." Was the boy's comment.

"Have a good rest, kid. You're gonna need it." Albert stated honestly.

"Thank you." the boy replied gratefully.

*Click!* That's the sound that the door would have emitted IF the door had a proper mechanism. When Death created the mansion, he failed to research more on how things really should work.

Here's a short list of things he overlooked:

1)Not everything should be either black and gray. (He likes black because they go with anything, sooner or later...)

2)Doors are meant to have the ability to open and close. (You can twist the knob, but it doesn't turn. Albert had to fix that by an aid of a trusty sledgehammer...and a new door.)

3)The outside is supposed to be bigger than the inside. (Everything in his realm is out of proportion. Try filling one the mugs, it will probably take eternities just to fill 1/28194+10e-2 of the tankard.)

4)You can't make a swing in the MIDDLE of a tree and have the top part float sturdily in mid air. If it's actually possible, then it not supposed to stay alive either. (Death once made a such a swing when his grandchild was brought in for a visit. She never rode it though, it was kind of unnerving when you keep fearing that the top part of the old oak might crash down while swinging.) 

5)Proper plumbing. (The Grimm Reaper has weird comprehensions on how these things should work, it's not like he uses the bathroom anyway. Albert had to install a proper one, for his sake.)

Shinji sighed as he sat on the bed. It looks fluffy and soft, yet it's hard as a rock. He lied down anyway, anything is better than nothing.

"Unfamiliar ceiling..."

~~~The next morning (real-time)

-------------------------------------------

**[The guestroom]**

Oddly enough, he had slept peacefully that night. He no longer felt threatened of what the next day might bring.

*Knock, knock!*

"Hey, lad! Ye up yet?"

Rubbing his face of the slight drowsiness, he opened the makeshift latch on the door.

"Rise and shine, boy! Ti's time for work, and here's yer uniform..." the old fisticuffs contender handed him a black robe and cowl.

"Breakfast's ready in a bit, kiddo. Come down when yer ready. "

-------------------------------------------

**[Albert's kitchen]**

"-That's the last of the bacon in this house. I trust that ye will be gettin' for me the groceries from the list I gave ye?"

"Yes, sir."

"That's a good lad!" Albert stated as he slapped the boy's back heartily.

Shinji almost choked on his crispy pork rinds.

"Uh, Mr. Albert? Where's the boss?"

"Oh, he already ate. He went to the life timer storeroom."

-------------------------------------------

**[The life timer storeroom]**

Shinji was dumbstruck. There were more than a thousand millenniums worth of shelves filled with hourglasses that stretched around and across the room. The sounds of sand flowing was constant.

Whenever an hourglass emptied it's sand to the bottom half, it fades out and gets replaced by another. 

** IT'S VERY INTERESTING, ISN'T IT? **The lone figure spoke out without turning around.

**LIFE IS FRAGILE. ONE MAY CEASE TO EXIST IN A BLINK OF AN EYE, BUT HIS OR HER ACCOMPLISHMENTS AND HISTORY WILL NEVER DIE, UNLESS NONE HAS REMEMBERED NOR RECORDED THEM OF COURSE...** he mused.

"............."

**LET'S LEAVE NOW. WE HAVE PLENTY OF LESSONS TO COVER TODAY.**

-------------------------------------------

**[The Living room]**

A dark haired British teen was busy chatting with Albert at the sofa.

"Granddad!" stood up when she saw the two shrouded figures coming out of the storeroom of souls. 

**SUSAN?! **

The young lady hugged her bony grandfather. It's another one of their very rare family reunions, considering that they're the only remaining family left that still exists in real-time (I didn't want to say 'alive' because death is obviously neither dead, nor alive).

Susan was the product of Mortimer and Ysabel's love. She also has the same scar that her father took from a slap by an angry Death, although she was born with it while mort had to take the blow. The three lines glowed whenever they felt angry, and she's angry with the world most of the time. When she was 2-4 yrs old, Azreal used to keep asking whether Ysabel and her new family could visit, and naturally, there was no denying daddy dearest. To their horror, Susan was feeling actually 'at-home' with the skulls and bones motif of grandpa's house, and this is definitely not normal. Mort was forced to put his foot down on this matter and stopped the visits and the contacts altogether. They knew Azreal would understand, it wasn't really a good future for Susan to grow up in a life where beliefs exist when you believe. Susan was then surrounded by education and logic, erasing any form of nonsense like heaven or tooth fairies. What Mort and Ysabel didn't notice was that Susan has inherited the trade. Sometimes, she would seem invisible whenever she felt like being alone and talk in a booming voice. She's also exceptionally good at any sport that includes placing a stick on her hands (nothing has ever felt menacing to a goalie than a dark-clothed girl waving a hockey stick like a scythe and hitting the hockey puck with extreme force). Her jet-black hair has a white streak on the bangs and her hairstyle keeps changing to whatever it likes (like Medusa's serpentine hair), it's as if it was alive and capable. When she first realized her true roots, she was in denial. How could someone have an anthropomorphic personification as a relative? It's not logical! After some misadventures with good ol' grandpappy, they finally got on better terms. She visits from time to time, although she have no real interest in her grandfather's work.

"-so how is the duty coming along?" She asked, conversationally.

**AW, YOU KNOW. THE USUAL. OH, YES! THIS IS SHINJI IKARI, MY NEW APPRENTICE. SHINJI, THIS IS SUSAN. SHE'S MY GRANDDAUGHTER.**

"How are you?"

Shinji Ikari? I think I've heard that name before...

"I'm fine, thank you..........."

Why is she staring at me like that?

Hey! He's not half bad looking either...

"So, you're replacing my father..."

"Pardon?"

"My dad was the first. You're the second to take apprenticeship with granddad." 

"Oh... I'm sorry."

"It's okay. He's been dead a long time ago, anyway."

"..........." The young apprentice was at a loss on what to say.

**WE ARE JUST LEAVING FOR HIS FIRST LESSONS, WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US?** the Grim Reaper asked hopefully.

"Hmmm... Why not?" Susan winked at the rapidly blushing boy.

**THAT'S STRANGE, SHE NEVER SHOWED ANY INTEREST IN THE TRADE BEFORE...**

-------------------------------------------

**[The horses' stables]**

I have to do this! No turning back, I mustn't run away! Shinji willed himself to go near the hell donkey.

"What's taking you so long?" Susan asked as she watched him shiver where he stood.

**PATIENCE, HE WILL LEARN ON HIS OWN.** Soothed Death.

Death and his granddaughter was currently waiting for the young Ikari while riding on Binky's back .

*Gulp!* Shinji stepped back as the fiery breed gnashed it's ugly teeth at him.

Then, a thought suddenly snapped into place in his brain.

I can't die here! I'm immortal! I have no reason to fear! He thought confidently.

The other two figures noticed the change in mood. The young apprentice's facial expression turned to icy calm, yet the eyes were wild.

"You will let me ride." He commanded, the tone of his voice hinted that there was a million infernos to pay when he is disobeyed (Yup! Just like Gendo).

The skeletal creature wailed like a kicked puppy and complied.

**WELL THAT WAS QUICK...**

"Really, I didn't notice." The raven haired girl rolled her eyes.

-------------------------------------------

**[New York, at a back alley]**

**JOHN K. GRAHAM.** Death read the title of the hourglass that Shinji picked from the saddle sack.

The alley was occupied by a young homeless teen. 

The three watched silently as all of the sands in the timer reached the bottom half. The sick kid finally stopped his coughing fit. The blood on his flesh has started to freeze in the cold. Suddenly, a glow of blue outlined his figure and out stepped his ghost form. He still looked the same and worn the same clothing, the only difference were that he was intangible and was definitely as healthy as one could get. There was a string of blue light that kept him connected with his body, a sign that there was a possibility that he could still live. Susan narrated to the newly deceased his own biography from the book that came with the hourglass, in which John received it in a form of visions( thus the term 'your whole life, flashing before your eyes' came about). He had been poor all his life and was currently suffering on a severe form of tuberculosis. John no longer has a family to return to, and no one to be buried by.

"Wha-what are you!" the pale ghost asked in fear to the three hooded ones.

**WE'RE HERE TO REAP YOUR SOUL. CAN'T HAVE ZOMBIES WALKING AROUND NOW, WON'T WE?**

"B-b-but I just got hired at Kelso's! I just got my first week's pay!"

**SHINJI, IT'S YOUR TURN.** Azreal handed the apprentice his scythe.

"Yes, sir......."

The ghost started begging for another chance in life.

"..................." The young Ikari was confused. Was his views of this trade wrong all along?

"-please mister! I beg ya!"

Shinji then reached a conclusion.

"Living is to suffer, I give you the gift of eternal rest. May you finally receive peace." He stated as he cut the final thread of hope, reaping his first soul. The ghost faded out. Since he's catholic, he probably went to purgatory first.

**EXCELLENT.**

Susan was speechless, here was a boy who had confronted the very test she had taken years ago, and he took it in stride. There was definitely something about Shinji...

**WHO'S NEXT.**

Shinji picked another random life-timer.

The plaque says 'Gendo Ikari'.

The boy became elated.

"Let's get this one!"

**NO, NOT THAT ONE. TOSS THAT BACK IN. I TRIED BEFORE, HE JUST PUSHED ME OFF THAT BASTARD!. HE'S DEFINITELY ALIVE, HE JUST FEELS LIKE HE'S DEAD BECAUSE HIS WIFE PASSED AWAY. T'IS A PITY.**

"........"

Even in this job, I can't get rid of that monster! Shinji grinded his teeth in frustration.

**IT'S REALLY INTERESTING HOW THINGS EXIST BECAUSE OF PURE CONSTANT BELIEFS. I AM I BECAUSE PEOPLE ACKNOWLEDGES MY EXISTENCE. YOU SHOULD REMEMBER THIS LESSON, YOU WILL DEFINITELY NEED IT IN THE FUTURE.**

"I will, sir."

**WELL THEN, LET'S GET GOING. I HAVE A POKER GAME WITH _WAR_, _FAMINE_, AND _PESTILENCE_ AFTER TODAY'S SESSION...**

~~~several centuries of non-existing time later...

-------------------------------------------

**[The library of souls]**

Shinji was quietly studying one of the ancient books. The writings were older than rune, and they were alive. It's origins were back in the days when civilizations read with entities. Each shape and sizes depicted information that the gods would have paid gladly with their good eye so that they could glimpse at it's apocalyptic powers. To Shinji, it was just entertainment, something to pass his off-duty time. He was surrounded by books, mostly biographies of people from the past and present.

He and Susan had broke their relationship a long time ago. She had began to fear him like the way she does with her grandfather. Dating a person whose sole purpose of existence became devoted to the 'duty' was cadaverous, definitely not a turn on. They did still remain friends though. Now, he has nothing better to do but study ancient histories of billions of centuries past and buy groceries for Albert. He also tried searching for info on the history of Nerv and the Evangelions, but it seems that those data have been ripped from the pages of time.

A shrouded skeletal rat (Death-of-Rats) was busy nibbling at the candle wax. Having little progress, it started to hack at it with it's mini scythe.

**Snnnk-snnnk, squeak!** It squeaked triumphantly, as the candlestick was cut in halves.

"Yes, that was an interesting fight..." Shinji uttered conversationally, trying to put a good comment here and there to avoid being bit by the Death-of-Rats (Yes, rats also believed in the 'Grimm Squeaker'. They do have a brain to think with, don't they?). The 'Grimm Squeaker' spends most of it's off-duty time bragging about it's encounters with zombie rats.

**SHINJI. **The familiar booming voice reverberated around the library.

"Yes sir?" The boy rose from his seat to greet his boss.

The Death-mouse stirred towards the approaching Death.

Albert has also accompanied his master for this joyous occasion.

**I HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU HAVE PASSED APPRENTICESHIP.** The tall skeleton declared with mirth, hugging the boy.

"Congratulations, kid! I had my doubts (considering those outrageous un-fried, shoelace-like stuff you always cook...) , but ye flew straight!" Albert shook the graduate's hand.

"Thank you!" he replied earnestly.

**Snnnk-squeak-snnnk, squeak-squeak!**

**BUT TO COMPLETE YOUR GRADUATION RITES, YOU ARE REQUIRED TO FORGE YOUR OWN SCYTHE.** Azreal stated.

"Um, how can I accomplish that?"

"I'm afraid you're on your own on that one kid." Albert shook his head disdainfully.

**THAT IS YOUR FINAL EXAM. BUT TO GIVE YOU A BOOST, I KNOW A GREEK GOD BY THE NAME OF 'VULCAN' WHO IS THE MASTER OF THE FORGE... ANYWAY, HERE'S THE GRADUATE'S ROBE. IT HAS THE SAME PROPERTIES AS OF THE ONE I WEAR.**

"Thank you, sir! This will be helpful."he gratefully accepted the garment.

**THERE'S ALSO A RESTRICTION TO HOW YOU MAY USE YOUR STEED **(the hell-donkey)**. YOU CAN ONLY USE IT FOR TRAVELING BACK 'TO' OR 'FROM' EARTH, YOU HAVE TO TRAVEL TO THE OTHER REALMS ON FOOT.**

"..........."

"Do not worry. You can do it, we have faith in you." Albert slapped his back heartily, and as always, it hurts whenever he does that.

Soon, the Death-of-rats scurried off to deliver the news to Susan.

** Squeaker-squeaky snnnk,squeak! **It thought to itself as he scampered away with his mini-scythe at it's jaw.

-------------------------------------------

**[The horses' stables]**

All of the creatures lodged within neighed their good-byes to the young apprentice.

**WHEREVER FATE LEADS YOU, YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE A HOME HERE.**

They hugged like father and son. Soon, Shinji was off on his own with his trusty donkey.

-------------------------------------------

**[The park]**

The boy was now back 5 days from the time he had left for Death's realm for the very first time (He used those five days mostly for buying necessities for the old butler and visiting Susan at her dormitory in England. 5 days worth of real-time could worth a hundred years multiplied by Bill Gates' monthly salary, so it's no laughing matter...). His age started working again. Death's last gift was his life-timer. He can chose to be immortal whenever he wished, simply by halting the sands in it's tracks (a trick that Albert never used.). Bidding the fire-breathing skeleton to return to Death's stables, he traveled back to Misato's apartment with the very same clothes that he had left with. It was no longer autumn, it's winter time.

I have to get more supplies... Now, how am I supposed to make a blade that exists within all realities? He thought to himself.

_________________________________________________________________________________ 

**End of crappy Session 1**

**Next session 2 - Hitchin' a ride on Santa's sleigh**

Author's Jibah-jabah:

If you want to see the preview of my next chapter, read the side-songfic "Santa Ain't Comin' No Mo'!".

For those of you who didn't expect the story to be like this, there's only one thing I could say: 

You didn't.

And for those who still doesn't have a clue on what's going on in this fic:

Read the title.

If there's still people who have a problem with that... I don't know what to say...

(Actually, there's hundreds but I chose to use a little tact on this matter.)

Take note that even though that I have ripped off plenty from the 'Discworld' novels and Evangelion, the story is kind'a distorted a bit to my likings in order for me to fill in the mold of my desired plot. (I'm talking like a mad man here!) Also, THERE IS NO DISCWORLD in this fic. I just took Death (and some...). This fic is not a Shinji and Susan pairing, this a Shinji/Asuka fic.

I'm sorry if there are any grammatical or spelling errors (I'm always on a rush to finish things, you see?), I'm really a flunky when it comes to grammar. I'm not really a writer but I'm the kind of guy that likes to draw. Sometimes you can't draw something but you can do it in writing (only that it's really hard to picture stuff with words), that's why I started writing these pathetic excuses for fun.

Please send any comments or suggestions at raiden_x_@hotmail.com

I'm a good sport when it comes to bad reviews but sending them to me usually doesn't affect anything much, it just most likely add up to the reviews counter.

You can also get weekly updates (I usually update it every Friday/Saturday...) of my plight on fanfiction writing at: http://raiden-x.tripod.com/raidenxsfanfics/ (construction in progress!)

Also, Thanks to Jake Shappy for pre-reading this fic.

See ya! 


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